Why I Do This

Welcome to the Fetish Fitness Program!

Tonight I had my first workout at the fitness center. Not that I haven't been exercising. For three months I have hiked some of the more strenuous trails in Acadia National Park. Two weeks ago (I was out of town last week - more on that in a moment), I climbed Dorr Mountain, went down the west side to the Gorge, then decided to climb Cadillac as well. By the time it was over, I had hiked about six miles and was one tired pony!

But tonight was a little different. For starters, it was a full body workout. The guy who runs the place met me at 6 p.m. and took me through the entire workout, showing me the right way to use the machines and telling me how to progress without injuring myself. After going through the entire workout, I spent 20 minutes on an elliptical. If you've never tried that, you should. At least once before you die.

By the time I showered and dressed, I was pretty dragged out. Not in pain (I expect that in the morning), but I knew I had done something. When these moments hit, I always ask myself why I do what I do.

That question got answered last week (I said I'd get to this!).

I met Mistress almost 20 years ago. We met at a pagan gathering to which both of us still go. It was held last weekend and both of us resolved to get in a little pony play even though that was not the focus of the event. It took a couple of days before we could get the time and space for some play, but when we settled on a time, we invited anyone who wanted to come and watch to do so. You see, there was a discussion going on at the gathering concerning the BDSM scene and whether or not it "belonged" there. I suppose those conversations happen all the time in various places, but this seemed to cast a dark cloud over the entire weekend for many attendees who are scene folk. Mistress and I both thought an eyeful of pony play might help to ease some tension without even having to lower the kink factor that much.

Only two people came to watch - and both of them lifestyle people to boot, but neither had seen live pony play and what they had seen on film had failed to impress them. They wanted to see what it was all about. It's too bad that more people - especially those who were up tight about BDSM in general - didn't come, but horses and water, don't you know?

The four of us walked out into the woods and found a nice trail that would be suitable. Mistress put my tack on and I went into pony space without passing Go or collecting any dough. I needed that space and found it quickly. Mistress took some time to discuss pony play and give a few facts about what we would be doing. Then the reins went on. I can't describe the feeling I get when I feel those reins snap onto my bit. I give over to my Mistress and place her in charge. She takes care of me. We make magic. That's a power exchange for anyone who asks.

Mistress put me through my paces and showed our guests how capable I was of following commands. I don't speak French but Mistress does. It's my job to figure out what she wants when she issues a command and I can't get over how clearly she makes herself understood. But then again, if it's my job to figure her out, it's her job to communicate with me effectively. I love that process even when it goes awry and Mistress must show me another use for the reins (WHACK!).

I high-stepped, I trotted and I galloped for Mistress and our guests. Then Mistress set up a jump course and had me canter through it several times, changing the order of the jumps each time. I got confused only once when I tried to figure out what Mistress was doing rather than just listening to her, but overall, I did well.

After the demonstration, Mistress spent some more time talking to our guests. All the time she was talking, she stood there stroking my mane. I love that. The praise, the strokes and the pats on the back and butt. It's all good.

But this was especially good. I had done well and I was being told that without words.I felt a great rush of emotion I hadn't touched before now and I turned and put my head down on her shoulder, nuzzling her and completely caught up in the moment.

It was hard coming out of that space, but every good moment has its life and is gone. I am reminded of the old show business saying, "Always leave them wanting more." I want more.

The following morning I had to leave the gathering early. That would have been a sad thing had it not been for the reason. I was going to Connecticut to meet with Buck at Water Hole Custom Leather to discuss tack. With a ten-hour drive ahead of me I decided to get going.

Let me explain something. I was nervous about meeting Buck. It wasn't that he has been in the pony scene for over twenty years and is somewhat iconic as a result. I have met famous people before and long since got over the sort of effect that can have on a person. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I tend to be nervous whenever meeting people for the first time. On top of that, I get nervous when meeting with someone who has a lot of expertise on something. I don't like the thought that I might come off sounding like an idiot and I know very little about leather crafting. I had given this project a lot of thought but had no idea what to expect.

As a hedge to the nerves, my stable pal Stormy offered to come along for the visit. That had a practical purpose as well because there were some elements on Stormy's tack that I liked. The fact that I was a little late getting to the Water Hole made me confident that Stormy would be there when I arrived.

Fate has an odd way of pulling your tail and making you take notice. It turns out that Stormy and I had a bit of a miscommunication on the time and I arrived first. Buck called Stormy to let him know that I was there and Stormy told me it would be about an hour for him to get there.

OK, ponyboy, deal.

There's really nothing for it at a moment like that other than to take a deep breath and dive in. With that in mind, that's what I did. As it turned out, I needn't have worried. Buck seemed happy that I had given the matter a lot of thought. Seems a lot of people don't do that for whatever reason. The ice broke very quickly and we fell to talking about tack, my ideas, his suggestions and pony play in general. I had a blast.

Stormy arrived after that and we had a nice conversation that lasted at least another two hours. Then the two of us went out to lunch (his treat - thanks, Stormy!). We talked about a lot of things, some funny, some sad, some...well, personal. For an hour we had what for me was a great time. And when I finally had to head home, we said our goodbyes.

I got into my car and promptly headed in the wrong direction.

So why do I do this? The play, the nuzzling, people like my Mistress Ladresseuse Maureen, Stormy, Lucky Slevin, Buck, and all the others I have and have not yet met. They are all incredible forces in my life now and I welcome that.

And yes, the motivation to get into a fitness program is a part of that too. I told Buck that Mistress wants me to be a saddle pony one day. His advice consisted of two words, "Bulk up."