Shopping in a hardware store with a ponyboy requires patience and a sense of humor. Shopping in a hardware store with two ponyboys requires patience, humor and some skill. If that hardware store is Lowe's or Home Depot, a lot of unpredictable things will present themselves. It can be hard on the nerves.
Fortunately for me and my stable pal Stormy, Ladresseuse has skill, patience and a sense of humor. Of course, she can be very single minded when there is something to be done, but not so much so that she can't handle ponies who bear watching.
So it was that the three of us headed out to three big box hardware stores in the Boston area. We were on a mission to build eight stalls for the pony paddock at the Winter Flea scheduled for mid January 2008 in Providence. Mistress had planned things out pretty well in advance, but you know how these things go. Details fail to cooperate, what seemed easy on paper needs a few adjustments in practice, certain ponyboys are useless with rulers and pencils and would rather look at the pretty Christmas displays and other sparkley things. Those sorts of distractions that make up what has come to be called the holiday season can wreak havoc on the organized mind. But Mistress proceeds with aplomb - and makes certain that her ponies do likewise.
We started at Lowe's. That's where the proper sort of fencing was being sold. It seems that Home Depot doesn't sell wooden picket fencing at this time of year as it is out of season for erecting garden fences. Well it isn't out of season for erecting stalls for human ponies. Someone should call and tell customer service that. I'm sure they'd listen.
The fencing was kept in the garden section, which meant that we started outdoors. It was pretty cold with a light breeze, so we worked fairly quickly. Stormy and I pulled out fence sections and held them up for Mistress to inspect and approve or reject. She chose nine of the best panels (which isn't saying much - at $14 per section, the stuff was a bit rough) and Stormy and I stacked them on a cart. Mistress started pulling the cart with Stormy and I following behind when she looked up and asked, "Why am I pulling this?"
Roles corrected, Stormy and I pulled the cart to the front. Then we headed into the store. It's odd, but there appears to be an inverse proportion between the size of the store and the probability that you will find everything you are looking for. You will always find one or two bolts of the sort you want, but if you need 150 things can get taxing. This pony doesn't do taxing very well. I got bored and wandered off a couple of times, finally getting engrossed in the socket wrench display (beneath it all, I'm a guy OK?). This continued until Mistress noticed that my sweatshirt had two strings on it. Lead lines, she called them. That put a stop to my wandering.
We checked out - or rather, Mistress checked out while Stormy and I pawed at the ground with our feet. I truly wonder if employees at these places don't notice the weird around them or if they have become so accustomed to it that they take it in stride.
Out in the parking lot we stacked the fence sections on top of Mistress' van for the short trip back to her house. Watching her tie the sections down with rope, I was glad we were not going to be traveling on highways at high speed. But the ties held and we got everything back to home base safely.
We had the fence sections, the carriage bolts, nuts and washers. Now all we needed were the corner plates, hitching rings and large screw eyes. That meant a trip to Home Depot so off we went.
Remember what I said about only one or two of the item you need? We had to haunt two different Home Depot locations to get everything. I was downright punchy by the time we came out of the last store. I look to Stormy at times like that because he's all about dignity and honor. He behaves himself well (most of the time - he started the foot pawing session at Lowe's). I need to learn that from him. All the same, I need to be foolish now and then. Ponies need a sense of play but learning where the limits are is important too.
Once back at the stable, we started the construction process. Mistress does a lot of figuring in her head and I quickly learned to avoid trying to follow what she was saying. Just do what you're told, ponyboy, and things will work out fine. Or at least, nobody can blame you if it all hits the fan. Either way, what bliss.
There was much sawing, measuring, marking and stacking. Stacking - that's what I do well. Stormy and Mistress busied themselves with measuring and marking while I carried fence segments about and found places to store them in the very small workspace we had. There was pizza, pineapple upside down cake and more work that evening until we were exhausted and unable to see straight. The night was capped off by one of the most kick-ass Martinis I have ever had, and we went to bed shortly thereafter.
Next day, Stormy had to leave early. We all had breakfast together and said our goodbyes. I hate seeing him leave, but life is like that. There was little time to dwell on such things, however, because we had more work to do.
Did I mention that I'm pretty useless with rulers and pencils? I can usually fumble my way through a project (like the model of a Tesla coil I built earlier this year) but only if I keep my eye on what I'm doing very carefully. Trouble is, I have a hard time staying out of pony space when I'm around Mistress. That can make for problems with concentration. I did well for the most part, and even caught my own mistake. Of course, I had committed that mistake four times before I caught it, but we were able to correct it without trauma or having to buy something new. Whew!
We also got a chance to talk about the bridling ceremony we will be doing at the Flea. For those who don't know, a bridling is the pony equivalent of a collaring. After it is done, I will be her pony. She may have other ponies, but I will have only one Mistress. I like the sound of that. We talked about how it could go and when it will take place. I don't want to spoil the fun by detailing it here, but no doubt you will be able to read about it here after the Flea. If you're coming to the Flea, you can attend! Look for the pony paddock and ask Ladresseuse or check the signs to see if the time is posted. Things like this should have witnesses.
Finally, it got to be afternoon. With a four hour drive ahead of me, I had to set out for home. That's always sad, but there is always the future.
Many thanks to Mistress, her wonderful partner (whom I met for the first time this trip), Stormy and the folks at Lowe's and Home Depot for making it all possible.
